


Daddy Christmas.

by FeliciaAmelloides



Series: A Oneshot a Day... [159]
Category: Polar Express - All Media Types, nonfandom
Genre: Aged Down Santa, Aged Up Boy, Christmas, Crack, Creepy Santa, Fluff, M/M, Starbucks, Will Ruin Your Childhood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 16:23:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14856123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeliciaAmelloides/pseuds/FeliciaAmelloides
Summary: Nick isn’t a normal guy, but he does have a big secret- He’s Santa. And although he likes kids, he doesn’t have any! What’s a guy to do?





	Daddy Christmas.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so sorry.

Hi, my name’s Nick. I’d like to call myself an ordinary guy. You know, I pay taxes, I eat cake, I like gingerbread and Starbucks, etc, etc... The gingerbread lattes are my life by the way.

But I have a big secret.

In my spare time, I like to dress up as a fat old man and ride around in a carriage driven by deer sneaking into children’s homes to bribe them with treats so I can stalk the, for another year without them complaining to their parents.

That’s right. I’m Santa. Daddy Christmas. The Big Guy. Y’know.

I like to eat pizza while I watch children sleep. And no, it’s not a sexual thing. Jesus. I just like kids. I wanna have some one day, but all girls think I’m a creepy pedo and I don’t wanna be a single dad so I’m kinda out of options. It upsets me a little. I mean, I’m Santa! Why does everyone think I’m so creepy?!

One day, I was walking around when I bumped into a kid I used to give presents. And waddaya know, he recognised me!

“Holy shit. Santa?” He asks, and I grin.

“Ye miscellaneous dressing gown-wearing boy, whaddup?” The boy who never got a name in the book or movie just smiles.

“Not much man. Wanna get a sweet, sweet gingerbread latte?”

“oh my fucking god yes!” We go to get a latte, and three years later we’re married with three kids. I retired from being Santa after that. Why give kids presents while desperately wishing I had some when I do have some I can give to?

The End~

**Author's Note:**

> Why.
> 
> Prompt- Weird Secret Santa.
> 
> I already did a Secret Santa oneshot a while back, so I took this literally. It’s a weird guy who is secretly Santa... Oh my gosh.
> 
> Original Number- 142.


End file.
